joeyknock.co.uk
Always take your colouring book with you

Archive: Dec 2009

Into the future

by

I’m reluctant to look back, because there’s so much to look back upon. It’s not just the end of the year, it’s the end of the decade, the end of half my life. Although that’s bad because it reminds me I’ll be old in six weeks time. But good because hopefully now you’ve read that you’ll be thinking about what presents to buy me.
Anyway, so much has happened. Of course it has, 3653 days is a long time, and I couldn’t have foreseen any of it. I was too young in 2000 to say, this is what I want, this is how it will happen. I guess I had my sights on at university and I’ve got there. But everything that’s happen in between has been, well, things that happened.
They’ve been a wealth of experiences, some that I engineered, others that I’ve had to deal with. I won’t forget singing Defying Gravity with a headset mic in Cairns, that was magical. Or the calm I felt knowing he was at peace. That too was magical, just in a different way. They’ve both weaved into my very fabric, my ‘me-ness’. And I can’t leave them behind, I’ll carry them with me into the future.
That future lies elsewhere though. That’s what I’ve learnt this year and this decade. You can’t be afraid to move on and uncover new experiences when the time comes. You’ll know when that time is, it’s when you’ve done all you want, all you need, all you can in one place and moving on is natural.
That’s how I want to go into the next decade. It’s not about ‘New Year, new me’ because, well, I’m quite happy we me at the moment. It’s about saying ‘let’s enjoy living’. I don’t need to have a grand plan for where I want to be in 2020, I just want to wake up to even more experiences and opportunities, and just be happy, so I can feel even richer in my life. It feels great knowing I will make it happen.

‘Be the change you want to see in the world’

by

I wake up far too often just mad at the world. Actually, that’s a lie but, well, I liked it as an opening sentence. Really, I go to bed far too often just mad at the world. Mad at this person, mad at that person, family, friends, colleagues, strangers, people I don’t even know and never will do. I just get myself so worked up, even upset, all because I feel helpless, I turn myself into a victim of other people’s actions.

Now I think it’s right to get upset, although it’s nothing I’ve ever been that good at. I wish I could just stop and cry things away instead of vexing out an holding on to the bad things. Anyway, we should get upset sometimes, it’s a natural thing to do. But I guess I think there’s always a risk of it being too selfish. That may sound harsh, but I don’t know a better way to phrase it, as we are all guilty of it. Too often we, I, victimise myself and it is no good when it reaches such an extent.
What I need to do is stop and say, you know what, this is what I think is good way to live my life. Not a good way to live my life and my life alone, but a way to live a life on Earth. It is a shared planet and I cannot separate our actions from other people’s lives. I need to ‘be the change you want to see in the world’. I can’t just go around thinking ‘Oh this would be nice… but I’m too selfish to do that’. I can’t just stay in bed and feel wronged. I can’t just sit back and do nothing.
I’ll fail on the way. I’ll mess up and please myself instead. Or I’ll get screwed over. But I believe that people do learn from others. It might not be instant, and maybe I won’t get unscrewed (not the best word). I still think that person will one day think, I need to do something nice. It may seem naive but it is what I believe.
I can’t control the world (although it would be frickin’ awesome if I could). Even better though is knowing the world can’t control me. In that gap is a chance to change the world. I don’t want it to slip away from me.

Action 43: Hug someone

by

There’s not a lot I want to say about hugs. They’re a simple act that any of is can do anywhere, anytime that everyone understands. It doesn’t involve knowing the troubles someone is going through, it just says I care. I care and I’m here when you need a hug, when you need a shoulder, when you need a cuppa, when you need a friend.

Don’t stop and wait for someone to ask for a hug. Give a hug when you. Give a hug when they’re happy and you’re happy. Give a hug whenever you want, because it’s bound to be appreciated and make people feel better, make the world feel better.